Love You Always
by ScriptorBemi
Summary: Severus writes Remus a letter... Sequel to Kiss... R&R!


Love You Always ~Princess Bemidia ~PG-13 ~note: Sequel to Kiss. More slash... A lot more... ~I don't own Harry Potter!  
  
***  
  
Remus,  
  
I just remember being speechless... I remember staring at you for what seemed like an eternity while you stood there holding my wrists... You were my last lifeline... And you had just let something slip... You tried to change the subject but it was too late... You told me that you, Remus Lupin, were a werewolf...  
  
It's funny... I don't remember much else about how we got to the infirmary, but I remember without a shadow of a doubt that you told me you were a werewolf. And it made me think... What made you slip?  
  
Later after I asked you how you found me I figured it out. You were probably on over drive from all the blood... Not surprising.  
  
What you found surprising was that I didn't tell the other Slytherins. Why would I tell those assholes anything regarding you? It was none of their business.  
  
Then came the day you asked me to stay... How could I refuse you? I'd always been a stickler for people with innocent faces. So I stayed... And I kissed you.  
  
I kissed you... Do I sound confused at this part? Good cause I am. I had no clue what the hell I was thinking... I thought I would die if you rejected me.........but you didn't. Then I left. What else was I supposed to do?  
  
I had made up my mind never to kiss you again. But after a month of lengthy wet dreams and arousing fantasies? My resolve had all but turned into dust and flew away on the wind. But there was still one problem.  
  
I wasn't sure if you were really gay. Sure you had kissed me back but were you just reacting to the moment? The moment I walked into the infirmary I saw the longing in your eyes... So I wasn't the only one who suffered the past month. I kissed you again that day... And I remember wanting to take you on that bed right then. But I didn't. You were still weak and Pomfrey was in her office and she could come out at any time.  
  
Not that it mattered. You left the infirmary and we carried on a relationship right under our friends' (and master's) noses. I remember the midnight meetings, stolen kisses in empty classrooms when no one was looking.  
  
It took me a year to realize I'd fallen madly in love with you, and another just to work up the nerve to tell you.  
  
That was the same year that Sirius dared me to go down the tunnel under the Whomping Willow. But no. James was going to be the noble, courageous hero and save me. Did they really think I didn't know you waited for me in all your horrific glory at the end of that tunnel? Of course they didn't... After all I didn't know you were a werewolf. But there was something about me they didn't know... I'm also an Animagus. I possess the ability to change into a somewhat large, black cat. You couldn't have hurt me if you tried.  
  
I acted enraged of course. I had to keep appearances but I said nothing about a werewolf. God at that point in time I was in so far over my head I couldn't see my way out. That was until the next year.  
  
Remus sat on the floor in his apartment. "Dead?"  
  
I looked at you... You'd been devastated. "Remus? How are you?"  
  
You looked up at me with a fierceness in your eyes I'd never seen before. The wolf was struggling to get out. "How could you Severus? How could you?"  
  
"How could I what?" I knelt down next to you but you flinched and scooted away.  
  
"You let them die! YOU let them die! How could you Severus?! How could you do nothing?!"  
  
"Honey, I've got -!"  
  
"Don't call me Honey! You allowed my best friend to be murdered! " Remus at that point you started breathing hard.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about Remus?! I didn't know Voldemort was going to kill James!" My world was spinning. It felt like it was coming to a complete standstill. "Remus please listen to me!"  
  
"No! Just take whatever shit you left over here and get out!" Remus you closed your eyes and let out a very harsh sigh.  
  
I did the only thing I could think of. I kissed your temple and left without a word. I stopped responding to your letters, your summons; nothing could get me to forgive you. But there was work to be done... So I didn't kill myself then... But now it's just too much. And I suppose that's why I'm writing you. I love you and I miss you, but I can't live knowing I can't hold you any longer. I can't stand the look of disgust on your face when you see me. So I'm finishing the job I started all those many years ago... Goodbye.  
  
Love you always,  
  
Severus Snape  
  
***  
  
R&R! 


End file.
